New Water Heater

Wherein I also expound upon the exact meaning of "24 inches."

When Greg and Kristen were here at Christmas, we noticed on Sunday afternoon after they had left that we didn't have much hot water. This had never been a problem before, so we were a little nervous. I chalked it up to overly long Sunday morning showers, and I told myself that Libby had indeed done a load of laundry just "a little while ago." Nothing seemed overtly out of place in the heater's closet in the basement. But I turned the breaker on and off and by the next day we were back to normal. Then last weekend when Faye and Kristen and Greg were here, we had the same sort of thing. Water was not quite as hot as it usually was.

Finally on Tuesday evening, Eli complained of not enough hot water for his shower. Libby investigated and managed to produce smoke and sizzling sounds by working the breaker switch! We made plans to get a new water heater the next day. I got Melzer M. from church to hook us up with a plumber able to come the same day (he actually appeared within a half hour of when he said he would arrive). While waiting for him to arrive, I made a quick run home to measure the opening to the closet where the heater is located; 24 inches. I then went to Asheville and got a new electric heater from Lowes (80 gallons, anticipating increasing demand as three boys move into adolescence). Dimensions of the heater: 59 1/2 inches tall by 24 inches wide. Notice the manufacturer conscientiously tells us about that extra 1/2 inch of height.

Got the thing home and into the basement and left the plumber to do his thing. Next thing I heard was "we've got a small problem." In my haste I had measured the closet opening only at its midpoint and got 24 inches. Further up the opening and a little lower the width was more like 23 7/8 inches. And lo, the heater: not 24 inches, but with protruding screws and such, 24 1/8 inches. The plumber explained he could probably shove the heater into place, but it would get scratched in the process. We pushed and shoved (I was reminded of Winnie the Pooh stuck in the opening to Rabbit's home). The plumber and I stood back and scratched our heads and fussed together and tried to diagnose how best to proceed (again, visions of Christopher Robin, now, and Gopher conferring on how to get Pooh unstuck).

Ultimately I gave the plumber permission to pull the panel veneer off the opening of the closet, the two sides of the jamb I suppose it is. Not only was it nailed in place, but also "liquid nailed," quite securely. After pulling some of that panelling off, we tried again to shove the heater into place. Still no dice. The facing panelling on the walls within and without of the closet overlapped the opening by "just that much." We had to shave it off on four sides. Finally, the heater would fit, still with a few scratches.

The plumber admitted that he had jinxed the whole project when he surveyed the scene at the very beginning. He had said to himself it would be an easy install, easily do-able with time to get to his other two pre-scheduled calls for the afternoon. He knew better, and now has had a gentle reminder not to make such claims. EVER. I have learned that it is not sufficient to measure one point in an opening when seeing if something will fit. What a difference a couple of eighths of an inch can make.